Angela Ivy

Being Receptive (to Self-love)

Angela Ivy — Wed, 15 May 2013 11:44:03 +0000

Receiving is at the heart of most spiritual teaching and is one of the greatest lessons we can learn. It’s the completion of the energy offered and a gift you bestow on the giver. Most people, especially women, give easily and often deplete their selves in the process. You give to your partner, your child, work, family, friends, community and at the end of the day find yourself empty. You fall into bed exhausted, wanting still to give to your lover but have nothing left – no energy, no space, and truthfully, on some days no love.

I’ve been there and the realization that I resented the people I shared my life with cut deep. I was giving and doing for everyone except the most important person in my life … me. I gave until my cup was empty; not just empty but parched. And when I found myself there I fought fiercely to regain some semblance of “balance” in my life but still I missed the point – I still wasn’t loving me.

I stopped caretaking and in itself that’s a good thing however I didn’t communicate what I was doing and why. And when it finally came out we were fighting and the words were defensive and filled with anger. In hindsight, they weren’t even the words I wanted to use. They came from my brain not my heart and made things worse, not better.

Fast-forward almost a year – my life has changed dramatically. I’ve come to understand that Self-love is a remembering process. It’s about removing all the blocks you have inside that keep you from receiving love.

I knew that receiving was at the heart of it what surprised me was that it was much softer, much easier than I ever imagined. Receiving Self-love was putting pressure on me to “do one more thing.” Relaxing into receiving though, opening myself to the space of receiving … being receptive … was gentle and filled with ease.

Abraham-Hicks states it best: Step 1 – ask; Step 2 – not your job; it belongs to the Universe – let Source handle it; Step 3 – receive. Yet relaxing into Step 3, opening to receiving, being receptive has only in the last few weeks become clear to me. I’ve had an awareness of this for years but “awareness” alone wasn’t enough. Step 3 is the critical step; it’s the taking action to show the Universe that I really, REALLY get the “lesson.”

If developing a practice of receiving has been challenging for you, try relaxing into being receptive. Allow yourself to be in a space of gently taking in that which you desire. Let it unfold in magical and miraculous ways. Do it for three days and notice what changes in you. Do it for a week and observe the expansion it creates. Commit to being receptive for one month and watch it change your life!

Divine Play

Angela Ivy — Sat, 11 May 2013 11:06:35 +0000

I was raised, like many of us probably, that church was an austere place. I never quite understood that. It seemed that those who were really into it were having a good time. When we’re engaged in an activity purely for its own sake; for the pleasure of it; where there is no goal to achieve or destination to reach; when you’re fully present, relaxed and being yourself … isn’t that play? Seen in that context, prayer and play have much more in common than at first glance.

In a meditation on what “Divine Play” means to me, my perspective shifted. I asked and opened myself to receive and my Higher Self zoomed way, way out … way back to the BIG picture view of the sphere of my little human world. In fact, so far out – an indicator of how infinite we all are – that I had to request to be moved in closer to “see” with my human eyes.* I had the impression of great laughter and an endearing, “you sweet thing” kind of feeling to the responding readjustment. *(Isn’t it funny how we’re given these experiences of just how infinite we are and still in our humanity we set limits on them? Set limits on God? Maybe that the real meaning of Divine Play … the human experience. That sets me tingling!)

From this new perspective, I could see my life and see how it’s played out – not always fun but continuously guiding me forward. From here I could see that each prayer, each thought was answered … every time. And I watched me repeatedly walk right past the very thing/person/event/etc that was lined up for me. Often, I was so focused on the asking for help or guidance or relief that I was blind to what was right in front of me. I watched the course corrections and changes in trajectory because of this “thing” in my path … so that I once again, walked right past my solution.

I laughed, out loud and it grounded me into my body once more. Yet the image is seared on my brain. A great peace is in me. Truthfully, my human-ness is berating me somewhat … how could you have missed that? And I remind me that “missing it” is part of the play too.

What I’ve stopped doing so I could create my core desired feelings.
(Or: What’s gotten in the way of my feeling how I really want to feel?)

My old life; I left a six-year relationship that was no longer serving me. I left without knowing where I’d go or what would happen next. I stopped resisting and opened myself to trusting in the guidance of the Universe; to the play of the Divine, who creates freely for the joy of it. I’ve stopped being attached to an outcome and I’m allowing myself to enjoy the mystery, magic, and miracles of living on purpose.

What I’m doing THIS week to generate my core desired feelings.

I’m remembering to get out of my head and into my body. To stay present to the sensations of being physical as I explore the creative limitations of being human and how that too is divine. I’ve started a yoga practice again and I’m dancing through the tender feelings that are coming up with this transition.

Communion

Angela Ivy — Sat, 27 Apr 2013 11:56:24 +0000

When I began defining my core desired feelings, communion was the ultimate “in-love” feeling. If I own my truth, a large part of that feeling was related to my relationship with my man. What I’ve learned is that communion is alignment at a cellular level, a deep knowing that I’m exactly where I need to be living the precise experiences I need to further expand my soul. Communion is a deep act of Self-love.

What I’ve stopped doing so I could create my core desired feelings.
(Or: What’s gotten in the way of my feeling how I really want to feel?)

I’ve been on accidental retreat. I’ve had the opportunity to spend time in a place with no internet access…yes, the dark ages! However, the absence of the constant barrage of stimulation has been a blessing. I’ve stopped trying. I’ve stopped resisting. I’ve stopped expecting.

What I’m doing THIS week to generate my core desired feelings.

I’m journaling. I’m allowing. I’m receiving. I’m practicing observational awareness and I’m plugging energy leaks. I’m speaking my truth. I’m honoring boundaries. I’m feeling my wings.

I’m meditating and becoming acquainted with a “new” guide. I’m focused on ease. I’m letting things be. I’m focused on my Self in compassionate and respectful ways.

On a physical level, I’m clearing space and organizing my house to be a reflection of the love and beauty of my soul. I’m creating Sanctuary designed to soothe, love, and shine!

Confident

Angela Ivy — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 10:43:44 +0000

Confident as a Core Desired Feeling is an assuredness in my Self and the Universe that I’m divinely guided. It’s the faith behind the courage that’s behind “feel the fear and do it anyway.” It’s that knowing that the Universe is acting through me and anyone open to allowing grace in their life.

It’s also confide … to entrust, to have faith in, and with a level of secrecy; and confidant … one who is trusted with another’s intimate feelings and thoughts. Confident … confidant … confide

What I’ve stopped doing so I could create my core desired feelings.
(Or: What’s gotten in the way of my feeling how I really want to feel?)

Over my two year healing/loving/awakening process I’ve stopped doing so many things; most recently though I stopped hiding. I stopped running away. I stopped trying to hold back the tide of evolution. I thought I would stop being afraid and then these things would happen for me. But no, the fear was part of the energy of change. It wasn’t redirected or transformed … it was focused lucidity.

What I’m doing THIS week to generate my core desired feelings.

Over the last month I’ve actively taken down internal walls and defenses as I’ve allowed myself to experience becoming. I had no idea the doors it would open for me! This week, there’s tenderness around the old, excitement over the new, and enthusiasm in the possibilities. I’m being gentle with myself. I’m allowing things to pass through me rather than hold on or resist. As if I’m floating in the ocean; the waves of emotion and experience come and go but my responsibility is to stay afloat. In this state of fluidity I’m able to keep my focus on ease and my faith in divine love and support. The Universe responds instantaneously with grace and I’m reminded daily … receive! It’s experiencing at a cellular level the confidence it takes to speak my truth, to evolve, and begin again.

Becoming

Angela Ivy — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 12:40:24 +0000

Becoming is interesting to me from two perspectives. 1) it’s the emerging of something more. I believe that if you’re actively living, you’re expanding or becoming more than you have been. And 2) it’s beauty, it’s lovely, it’s becoming.

Dictionary.com (Nerd alert: one of my *favorite* sites!) defines becoming as:

(adjective) that suits or gives a pleasing effect or attractive appearance;
(noun) any process of change;
(noun) Aristotelianism. any change involving realization of potentialities, as a movement from (one) level of potentiality to (a) level of actuality.

Obviously, personal development and self-actualization are close to my heart. Naturally, I gravitate toward the expansion or realization of new potentialities and developing them into actualities. Yet, the beauty, the pleasure … the becoming itself is in the now moment. This one simple lesson has taken years to sink in for me. Love, enjoy, and appreciate what’s in the now. Yet also, honor and nurture the becoming nature of you as you expand into Who You Really Are.

What I’ve stopped doing so I could create my core desired feelings.
(Or: What’s gotten in the way of my feeling how I really want to feel?)

I’ve begun to walk my talk. That’s a bit uncomfortable to admit here and it’s my truth. I’ve had a tendency in life to rush right through to the “goal,” the desired outcome and felt the disappointment of emptiness when I arrived; never once realizing that I missed the whole point. It’s clichéd to say, “the journey is the destination” and still it rings true. I’ve softened my focus of the future goal to be more present with the journey of becoming.

What I’m doing THIS week to generate my core desired feelings.

I’m more mindful and more purposeful; I’m aware of and allowing myself to deeply feel each moment of becoming. Sometimes that’s painful more often though it’s deeply satisfying and profoundly pleasurable. By being fully present in each moment I’m becoming (accomplishing) more. And, the Universe is rewarding me with tangible, quantifiable proof of my expansion and of the realization of my dreams! Which feeds my desire to become even more!!

Spacious

Angela Ivy — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 22:24:27 +0000

The Core Desired Feeling that came through the clearest for me was Spacious. It’s a word that had been floating around my universe for several months. It first came to me in response to how my body felt after a session with a member of my Health Team. I breathe questions into my body, letting the answer be drawn into the energy of it. That day, the inhalation felt like it was the deepest I’d taken in months. As if the emotional release physically cleared space in me … muscles relaxed, organs softened, and a expansive space opened through my middle. A wide landscape laid before me; a secret chamber for me to explore … previously unknown and yet so very close, with room to move, to breathe.

Spacious is generous. Spacious is inclusive. Spacious is luxurious. Spacious is freedom. Spacious is clear. Spacious is centered. Spacious is ease. Spacious is how I choose to be.

What I’ve stopped doing so I could create my core desired feeling.
(Or: What’s gotten in the way of my feeling how I really want to feel?)

I’ve stopped saying “I’m so busy.” It’s the grownup version of “The dog ate my homework.” Busy is a mindset; a very stressful mindset. We’re all “busy” with families, work, communities … with life. It’s how we choose to see our activities and responsibilities that determine the difference between busy and full. I’ve given up “busy” in favor of the mindset of “full, rich, and spacious.”

What I’m doing THIS week to generate my core desired feeling.

I’m structuring my time, using my calendar more, and scheduling my priorities. There are business priorities like calls with clients or with my coach, meetings, and work time. There are also Life Priorities like time for loving, journaling, meditation, and most importantly, doing nothing. I’m accomplishing more and (mostly) remembering to be gentle with the transitions. I’m also listening to and honoring the messages from my body. If I need something that isn’t on the “schedule” I’m giving myself permission to take it; after checking in to see if it’s real vs. a procrastination monster sneaking in. When it’s real, when I need to talk, to write, to create, be alone, take a walk, to cuddle with my cat or with my man … yep, permission given.

What I Want the Most!!!

Angela Ivy — Sat, 02 Mar 2013 12:38:09 +0000

I’ve been exploring The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte. It’s, as her site says, a guide to getting what you want the most. Wow, what I want the most?!?! Sign me up! And because I’m familiar with her work, I know that’s meant in an authentic and sustainable way.

Here’s where she got me: “You’re not chasing the goal itself, you’re actually chasing a feeling.”

Truth: Goals are something I’ve struggled with for that very reason. I’ve always been much more interested in my internal world and way of being than in external attainment. The irony here is noticed … I struggle with goals yet I’m a coach … how does that work?! I take it as proof that we teach what we need to learn. For me that mean, living my spiritual philosophies in tangible and practical ways in the “real world.” The phrase “do it to be it” comes to me often in those moments. And now, “doing it” means **feeling it** … the feeling is the manifestation.

More from Danielle: ”What if, first, we got clear on how we actually wanted to feel in our life, and then we laid out our intentions? What if your most desired feelings consciously informed how you plan your day, your year, your career, your holidays – your life?”

Preach it Sista! Life planning, goal setting from a touchy-feely perspective … be still my heart!

The basic message is that your Core Desired Feelings are what drive you, no matter the external goal. Every aspect of life is based on these feelings but we’re often unclear about them. The process of uncovering your Core Desired Feelings is about further defining the consciousness of your experience. Rather than create unconsciously (chase external goals without knowing the why of it) she’s gives a tool and opportunity to dive deep and get crystal clear on what you truly desire to feel in your life.

My Core Desired Feelings

As I live this I’ll be posting about what each feeling means to me and how it fits my life. Also, what I’m letting go of to make space for how I want to feel and what action I take to generate those feelings. Stay tuned over the next few weeks to see how it unfolds! And if it sparks a desire in you to play along, I’d love to hear about it!

Sending love from here to there!

International Day of Self-Love

Angela Ivy — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 12:01:57 +0000

On the eve of the global One Billion Rising event, to raise awareness of and bring an end to violence against women, I invite you to celebrate International Day of Self-Love!

Self-love takes so many forms; one of the most powerful is believing in your dream and taking steps each day toward it. “Living as if” your dream has already come true can mean so many things … working on the proposal, web site or copy, making product, updating your blog, writing every day, singing, dancing, mid-morning yoga, a beach day mid-week… the list is as long as there are dreams in the world. My point is taking actual, tangible steps toward it.

Sometimes, living as if loops back into the being part of Self-love. Sometimes, it means visiting the open house in your desired zip code, or visiting that luscious leather sofa you’ve had your eye on and sitting your happy ass there for a conspicuously long time! Maybe it’s test driving the car, or trying on that unbelievable dress. Sometimes it’s the walk at lunch, a quiet moment in the park, the coffee break away from the office, the last minute massage, or deluxe conditioning treatment at the salon. What if it’s doing nothing, simply being… space to meditate or a quiet bath to soak your cares away.

You are the expert on you. Your feelings, impulses, and impressions are your Spirit-Self speaking to you offering you guidance. What do you desire more of today? Or maybe it’s less of…what do you desire? Ask your Self how you would like to celebrate today.

Lean in. Listen up, closely. It’s your Self, your Soul, the whole Universe speaking.

The Present of Presence

Angela Ivy — Sat, 29 Dec 2012 16:26:51 +0000

I was inspired by Leo Babauta at Zen Habits to experiment with his Challenge: Buy Nothing Until 2013.

It resonated with Who I Am and with one of my core desires – to experience connection. It opened me to the introspection and exploration of my resistance. I vowed that my gift would be my presence, my attention and intention to be completely in the moment with you and me. It’s time together; words from my heart; feelings experienced and expressed. Good food, music, wine, a walk, a smile, a hug, a kiss. A connection. A present.

The only real sticking point for me in this experiment was my son. Not giving him a gift for Solstice (holiday of choice) just didn’t seem “right.” I shared my commitment and while he was a little disappointed (he likes stuff!) he seemed okay with it. After all, he’s seen and played along with many of my unconventional antics in his 18 years of life! Still, I was torn. How could I honor this commitment to myself, be present with him, and share a gift?

In the stillness of my heart I heard the whisper … write him a letter.

Brilliant! Thank you!!

It took me two weeks … write edit write process emotions edit write. It became a love letter of things I hadn’t said. Feelings I assumed he knew but maybe not. Wisdom I wanted to pour into his soul. I cried. A lot. I shed years of regret. I forgave myself. I let go and allowed myself to be present with the memories, emotions, and words. I allowed myself to be changed in the process. In writing for him, I was present with me – my gift.

I gave it to him with instructions to read it in his own time. When I saw him again a few days later, he said, “Thank you for my letter. I almost cried. I had to stop a few times. It meant a lot to me.”

Me: deflecting and diverting … “oh, you’re welcome. So what’d you today?”

Him: VERY brief response then, “Thank you for my letter. It meant a lot to me.”

Me: more deflecting, more diverting.

One more round of this before the Cosmic Clue-By-Four cracked me open.

This is the completion of the energy of my gift.
This is his gift to me – presence, gratitude, love.
Receive it. Soak it up. Be present.

And I melted. We stood in the kitchen, hugging, crying, connecting … open and receiving the present of presence.

I see… I hear… I feel… I believe…

Angela Ivy — Wed, 04 Jul 2012 18:05:48 +0000

I see…

… fireworks of beauty all around me. In the clear blue sky and the gathering rain clouds. In the wise conversation of the blue-haired ladies. In the tenderness of the nursing momma and the wiggles that relax to contentment of baby’s feet. In the love of a father for his child when she picked a too small table and her juice and his coffee were toppled into his briefcase.

I hear…

… the roar of rockets of desire shooting into the universe. The reverberation through my soul calling me forward. The boom of your soul calling you onward. The whistles of alarm at the daring audacity to throw off societal shoulds and expectations. The rumblings of bystanders reflecting my fears and the echo of my own voice, clear and strong … just you watch me!

I feel…

… the vibration of the universe aligning with my desires. Spinning them from the dust and ashes of failures and losses into brilliant, radiant superstars. I feel the wisdom, power, and love of alignment with my Self, my Source, and All Creation and step boldly into who I have become, who I have always been but was afraid to let her be seen.

I believe…

… in our infinite capacity to love. That we’re all connected … the big things, the small things, the small things that add up to big things. I believe in me. I believe in you. In the magic of touch and the language of kisses. In the power of inclusion, in circles, in women, and the men who love them. I believe in our children and their ideas. That naming your fear and stating your intention are the first steps to success. I believe in freedom for me, for you, for our dreams, and our souls. I believe in owning my bigness. In riding shooting stars across the heavens. I believe in the burning spirit of desire. I believe that it’s your permission slip to greatness!

What do you see, hear, feel, and believe? Tell me here or share with me on Facebook.